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i met my cousin today. i felt rather awkward seeing him, coz its been awhile since our last meeting. i dont really know him that well, what i understand is how people judge him for what hes done in the past.
he was using drugs. so bad that he actually is infected by the virus. so bad that he told me, today, that he wanted to committ suicide and he failed. he lives.
he has kids, 2 of em, and a wive who doesnt want to meet him anymore.
responsibilities he said, what made him strong. dignity, i can say that he regained it, no matter what people say.
" i can not make money, yet. thats not my priority. with my spare age, i want to help them who have same problems as mine. me and them, we share things that normal people wouldnt understand. i must help them, and through that, i feel worthy "
God, this is the guy who i had fear from. it was a shock to all of us when he was told ill. and sadly, we all avoided him. we slipped our hands. we DID NOT support him. we failed him.
and he had such a great ego that he believed that he could stop being a junkie with his own strenght. and he failed.
he now believes that there is a GOd. there are reasons why God make him live.
other then the supreme power of GOd, i too believe that he survives because he still have FREE WILL. we will meet our destiny, but the road we take is not a simple long and winding road. it bifurcates so many times and it is our FREE WILL that will lead us along the journey.

yes, life is risky. yes, life can be bumpy. thats why you need to take 3 things important. 1> free will. 2> take and give. 3> belief.

im not sure what im trying to say, but i feel like i need to share it hehehheeh…pardon my confusement..(is that even a word?)

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 4th, 2005 at 3:27 am and is filed under soal hidup. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.