Die Schläge

awan menghitam hari ini sayang,
begitukah disana?
termenungku sedari pagi
yang kuingini lari dan memelukmu
tapi tak mungkin…

di ujung sana kau terdengar sedih
kau benar, 4 bulan yang berat
tidakkah kau tahu, tiap helaan nafasmu mencekikku
mata sayumu..tundukan kepalamu…hisapan rokokmu..
belajar pasrah katamu?

malam ini lebih dingin dari kemarin
kau kehilangan lagi
aku kehilangan orang yang tak akan bisa pernah kutemui,
dan aku menggigil

sabar sayang,
menangislah..kuatkan hati,
aku disini
menunggu matahari menghalau kelabu

Kekuatan kata-kata itu mengerikan juga ya, apalagi untuk didengar orang-orang yang tidak tahan hati ( dan tahan banting ). I sufferred from this strange gastritis one day after sebuah pembicaraan di rumah. Tiba-tiba aja, lambungku perih dan mual, really-really uncomfort feeling. I tried on taking different kind of pills, but they wouldnt help. Secara medis, aku mulai berpikir kalo aku dapet ulkus duodenum. Well, just imagine you got holes in your intestine and that eating just gonna make you suffer more. Sempat terpikir juga kalo gastritisnya gara-gara banyak pikiran…but hell, cant be, masa sih??
Today i got a phonecall, from one of those involved in the conversation that day. Apparently, they too worried abt me, were assuming that its because of them i was sick.
Tubuh yang aneh. Dan unik. Dan ribet. The power of mind really does take control. Whatever you are thinking of, it affects your body. And saying to yourself that you will be OK can be 2 things :
1. denying, and will make everything worse.
2. running a positive-mind-mode, which eventually take you out dari kubangan pikiran buruk.
Yang kulakukan kayaknya nomer 1 deh waktu itu…instead of facing reality, aku malahan berpikir oh gak apa-apa, it will run through you. And look, all i got was pain.
No matter how clean you lie to yourself, gak ngefek deh… makanya aku lain kali kalo ada pikiran gak mau disimpen-simpen, cuma jadi penyakit aja. And thats why juga aku gak mo jadi orang yg judgemental, coz whatever lines come out from one’s lips, however light the topic is, it does mean something. So dont say things you dont have to. Kira-kira dulu deh, orang yang kamu ajak omong ini bisa gak cope with your words. Kalo gak, they might end up having gastritis juga lagi ntar, jadi berabe.

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:

1. The Sound Of Music
2. Pretty Woman
3. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy
4. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Four Places You’ve Lived:

1. Jatibening
2. Gembira 27
3. Kwitang
4. Bandung city

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:

1. Jejak Petualang
2. American Idol
3. Ajang Boyband…just to have a good laugh seeing their awfull act and horrible voices
4. VH1 on JakTV

Four of Your Favorite Books:

1. Indiana The Chronicles
2. The Fifth Mountain
3. Petualangan Para Bajang
4. Matahari Tengah Malam

Four Places You’ve Been :

1. Collosseum in Rome
2. Eiffel Tower in Paris
3. Red District in Amsterdam
4. Tower of London

Four Websites You Visit Daily:

1. fs.com
2. emedicine.com to browse through journals
3. glodokshop.com just too take a peek at new gadgets
4. fotografer.net sometimes to see good arts

Four of Your Favorite Foods:

1. Got to be Konro bakar Daeng Tata @ Tebet
2. Pecel lele seberang Sarinah Thamrin
3. Hay Thien @ Puri
4. Semua sate kambing di dunia deh

Four Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

1. Berlin Love Parade
2. Lost in the middle of Barcelona
3. In my car, stepping on gas to any other beach
4. Or heading to the mountains

Four All Time Favourite Song:

1. True Love Fuji FUmiya
2. We’re All Alone Boz Scaggs
3. Return To Pooh Corner Kenny Loggins
4. Members Only Bobby Blue Band

Four happy moments in my life:

1. getting accepted in the uni outside jakarta
2. and finally get a hold of controlling my own life
3. stepped-in to the amazing and frightening world of work
4. earned my A’s that nobody could take away

Outside the rain begins and it may never end
So cry no more, on the shore dream
Will take us out to the sea
Forever more, forever more

All’s forgotten now
We’re all alone

The road we take, i know its gonna be a rough one
I commit to us, and I shall not give up

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart…

01. Dia suka minum kopi ngga?
- hmm…as far as i know he prefers tea than coffee

02. Dia suka ngerokok ngga?
- hehehe sometimes, i encourage him to, though

03. Dia suka minuman beralkohol ngga?
- pengakuannya sih enggak…but i think he had few drinks at least

04. Dia kalo weekend sukanya ngapain aja?
- hang out @ my house

05. Dia suka fast food gak?
- not really

06. Dia suka clubbing?
- enggak banget

07. Dia suka binatang apa?
- hmmm….babi? heuheuheu

08. Dia suka ngapain aja kalo lagi banyak duit?
- haduh yg ini gak tau

09. Dia manggil loe apa?
- adek sayang

10.Dia kalo lagi gak punya uang biasanya ngapain?
- biasa2 aja ah

11. Dia kalo masak, sukanya masak makanan
apa?
- i never knew if he could cook

12. Dia suka buah apa aja?
- he likes em all

13. Dia suka minum beer gak?
- i dunno, i’ll ask him out for a beer sometimes

14. Dia suka chatting pake apa?
- yahoo messenger

15. Dia suka dengerin lagu yg gimana?
- somewhat 80’s,jazzy,rock, just abt everything, even dangdut…well, who doesnt??

16. Dia suka mandi pake sabun apa?
- hmm…sabun mukanya ponds yg jelas mah.

17. Dia kalo nonton, sukanya film yang gimana?
- everykind…romantic, thriller, action, drama

18. Dia suka olahraga apa?
- jogging aja deh

19. Kalo lawan jenis, sukanya yang gimana?
- yg seperti diriku?

20. Dia suka jutek gak? kenapa?
- neah, abang slalu manis2 gak pernah jutek

21. Dia suka ngapain aja kalo lagi sedih?
- diem seribu bahasa, pasang muka mikir…then he would hug me n talk abt his probs

22. Dia kalo sarapan sukanya makan apa?
- teh manis hangat

23. Dia kalo ulang tahun sukanya di kasih kado
apa?
- hehehe…last time i gave him a shirt n he likes it very much, thank you

24. Siapa dia sebenarnya?
- my deary Indra Simalango, current bf, hope to be future partner in life

Although the name Joan creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, and elimination system.
The name of Joan creates a very quiet, practical nature and a clever and inventive mind. Being analytical and naturally studious, you are interested in a factual understanding of the mysteries of life. Your methodical nature requires that you like to finish what you start without interruptions and also to have everything in its place and properly organized. An ability to concentrate could take you into computer programming or accountancy or any work requiring concentration and attention to detail. You have, also, a flair for creative expression with your hands. You take life seriously and can be easily and deeply hurt and go into moods which can be quite extreme at times, causing much turmoil and unhappiness

The biggest factor is that though your combined names bring you close to success you are always one step short of what you want to achieve

Your combined names of Joan Tanumihardja give you the desire for a systematic and orderly life. They do, however, cause confusion in your thinking and create a feeling of aloneness, even when you are in a crowd. As they separate you from others and create misunderstandings both in personal and business life, these names do not allow complete success relative to the goals you set. Your key ambitions do not materialize, as someone else receives the position or opportunity that you were sure would be yours. Although you could achieve much, you do not attain the full rewards for your labours. These names often take you away from direct involvement with people. Health weaknesses could affect your heart or respiratory organs.

http://www.kabalarians.com/

dah mo setengah 3…
di tengah kebosanan dan rasa ngantuk sembari mbikin power point untuk presentasi, g buka2 fs temen2 lama.
entah karena lagu yg diputer di wmp atao apa, ada feeling aneh tapi menyenangkan rushing back.
its funny how time flies…sedikit lagi semua orang jadi dewasa beneran. ppl ive known from primary school, look at how we all have grown up.
i wanna go back to the old days, where life was easy to live have a reunion with the longtime-no-see-friends.
i really am missing you guys, more or less you have affected my life in any way.
they say we should not live in past, but memories will last.
its nice to know that we still have friends to meet up, when things in our present time is not so ok. not to avoid problems, but just to refresh our soul. buat g sih ngaruh ya, ketemu temen lama itu kayak ketemu saudara yang dikangenin berat.
january 7 2006…reuni (agak) besar St.Bellarminus, i wonder what surprise will i get there ^_^ cant wait to see you guys!

this time i dont feel 1+1=0
i see things
but the mists…its still there
i picture this all the time
consume my mind
have i put in too much?
give some time, they say
we dont have much time!
you will be away
i thought abt this thoroughly
the past…present…n future…
what exactly do you feel?
what do i feel?
bitte sprechen…
i am willing to listen
as much as i am willing to wait
for whatever comes ahead
i am starting to fall…
be prepared…

I got sick, was hospitalized for several days. I decided to nvr got illed again, karena gak enak masuk rumah sakit n minum obat!

I know nothing abt d outer world. My days r just d days i spent at work. So help me God klo terlihat amat tidak tau apa2 soal yang lain2.

Turn out i havnt going anywhere. Seorang teman menyadarkan soal hal ini. The scares and all d confusements r still there.

I realized that some things cannot be pushed. Let nature takes its course.

Otak g mulai mau diajak berpikir. Sejak keluar dirawat, bener2 jadi orang bego sedunia….apalagi di depan konsulen…cuma bisa nyengir kalo ditanya. Thank God dah mulai OK ni otak…

Jadi orang musti tegaan! D more gak pedulian, d better deh!

Lagu favorit saat ini…spt biasa g gak tau siapa yg nyanyi

The sky has lost its colour, d sun has turned to grey. at least thats how it feels to me, whenever ure away…i crawled up in the corner, to watch the minutes past..each one bring close to you, the time ure coming back…i cant take d distance, i cant take d miles, i cant take d distance, n im not ashamed. i still believe my feelings, i make believe ure close to me, but ure not really close enough…i will go the distance..i will go the miles…thats how much you mean to me…

Kesejatian diri…blom berhasil nemu juga sampe skrg, hopefully g mencari di jalan yg bener.

Ternyata temen g banyak jg, i nvr realized this.

Jo: Kenapa ya orang2 takut, g jutek gitu?
They: ….gak usah dijawab, kita beliin kaca aja dia suru liat ndiri.
Jo: MAKSUD LU????

Theres a hole in my head, i think about it over and over again.

Denny n Didan r d coolest RnB singer ever!!!

I lost file2 penting buat responsi lusa besok!!!! ntah kemana kertas2 itu…i am so dead meat… -_-

I smiled, I panicked, I sit in silence, I am pushing too hard, love the thrill though. mau-gak-mau-gak…mau gak ya?

i…..so hate this feeling….in between guilty dan gamang sekali…..

i…..need a long solitude time…